My Life So Far

I've been 18 years on this planet. Aside from another age that's been added, nothing else has changed physically. From where I am right now, though I haven't seen much of life yet, I feel blessed and am really grateful. I feel many changes deep within. parang an dame kong napagnilay-nilayan. I reckon I've gone through a deep level of metamorphosis. Napaka-ironic talaga ng buhay and growing up is an oxymoron. When we were younger children, we ask a lot 'bout the ways of the world and when we're grown- ups, when we had known the ways of life, sometimes we wish we hadn’t. We envy children kasi they can sleep for as long as they want, they can indulge themselves in playing, wala silang deadlines na hinahabol, wala pang responsibilities. For the past years, yung diary lang talaga yung naging sole confidant ko, and it gave justice to the word "friend" . Minsan kasi when you're confiding something, they're very swift in giving the best intentional words of advice. While that may be good, there's still something more important and often being set aside. They don't know that listening is more important and often more healing. Even if nothing's said, you'll feel the sympathy when one's really listening. And that's one of the best ingredients of FRIENDSHIP, you never get tired of listening to your friends and know their whereabouts. But I'll be out of my shell for a while that's why I decided to do this blog. When it comes to HAPPINESS, ‘di ko naman alam lahat ng sikreto ‘dun pero for the past duration of my existence, wala pa akong natatandaan na bagay na ginawa ko para sa Diyos na hindi ko ikinaligaya. God has given us blessings and happiness is up to us. Whenever I feel sad, and worse is I don’t know what part of the problem bugs me, naiisip ko na lang na: “’Yaan mo na, mas marami naman yung mga panahong masaya ‘ko eh’. C’mon, I mean. I don’t often come out as strong as what others believe. Honestly, though I rarely show my emotions, inside me’s a person struggling for strength. And yeah, despite this weak heart, I know I’ve a God I can lean on whenever my courage fails. I think I’m contented with who I really am and what I’m made of ‘coz this is what I’ve always decided myself to be. I mean, I laugh when I could, I cry when I should. I don’t pretend. I don’t retaliate. I love my life and myself. I know my dreams and I’m goin’ to be ME. I used to complain ‘bout myself before and how people judge and underestimate me based on their superficiality, but I learned that beauty’s skin deep and I think I’d want to be appreciated for my inner qualities more than the outer ones. You know, even a lifetime’s not enough to thank God. He breathed our life and gave us our loved- ones. In terms of worldly possessions, I’m thanking Him for providing our family with a good fortune. We aren’t rich but we never ran out of food to consume or clothes to wear and we’d never came to thinking of taking advantage over others for our own profit. Marami pa sana ‘kong gust ibahagi but I think ‘this will do for the meantime. Nothing’s as scary as the unknown that’s why I decided to do this blog. I might have an amnesia or an Alzheimer’s disease, at least I’ve something to read on and can say to myself, “Ah…Ganitong klaseng buhay pala ang nagkaroon ako. Salamat sa Kaniya. Salamat talaga.” As for now, gusto ko sanang magwish. I want to become healthy. I want to be strong enough to make a difference while I’m living. Sa family, I hope we could stay together as a family. Sa studies, I pray to have more concentration in spite of all the advertising around me. Sa lovelife naman, I haven’t fallen out of love yet kasi andiyan ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. Pero kung sinoman siya, I’m striving to become a better person to prove that I’m worth the wait. In God’s perfect time, we’ll see each other but for now, I’m happy even in my solitude ( I find inner peace).

**You’ll never really understand what life means until you consider it's purpose.**